


The Cupboard

by siarc_a_botel



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018)
Genre: Bratty Roger, Cute Deacury, Everyone hates Paul, John's a sweetheart as usual, Just a bit of fun, M/M, Roger in a cupboard, Sappy Brian, Swearing, angry roger, lots of stuff breaking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 21:57:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17475713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siarc_a_botel/pseuds/siarc_a_botel
Summary: Brian chuckled, leaning against the cupboard and running his finger along the carved pattern. “So, what do you say? Come out here and we’ll wait for those two to get back? I’ll make you a nice, hot cup of hot chocolate.”“What am I, five?”Brian grinned, hearing the teasing in the blonde’s voice. “On a bad day, yes.”“Piss off.” Roger piped, kicking the door. “Bri?”“Yes, Rog?”“I’m seriously about to piss myself.”





	The Cupboard

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! I've been a Queen fan since I was a kid and never thought I'd be writing Queen fanfiction... but here I am because I've made a friend who's obsessed with Maylor and Deacury and she has me doing her dirty work as she hates writing :P and her first mission to me was the infamous 'do the Roger in a cupboard scene'.
> 
> My Queen fics are based on the Bohemian Rhapsody movie as I don't ship real life Queen :) (but of course, there's hardly a difference as the actors are Queen's twins...) hope you enjoy!

"Taylor, get out of there you drama Queen."

"NO!"

"Roger, don't you think this is a little over the top?"

"NEVER!"

Brian walked into work that morning expecting to find his band mates sitting around with their instruments, John tuning his guitar as Roger fiddled with his symbols, whilst Freddie strutted around with paper in hand singing the words to their latest new song. But what he wasn't expecting was to find John and Freddie in the break room situated in the barn near the house, standing outside a large cupboard that for some reason was talking and sounded uncannily like their drummer.

"Come on, Rog." John sighed, running a hand through his hair. "This is ridiculous even for you."

Freddie nodded and put his hands to his hips. "Only I am allowed to be this dramatic, darling."

"Prepare to be out done, Mercury!" Came the voice from inside the cupboard.

John and Freddie shared a look and both rolled their eyes. Brian could only laugh a little as he let his bag fall to the nearest sofa, and wonder what on earth his boyfriend had done this time that had made him want to sit inside a cupboard. Brian was about to make it known that he was there, but Freddie gave the cupboard a slight kick before he turned around and noticed the guitarist's presence.

The singers eyes widened, and his face changed from annoyed to pure relief in seconds. "Brian!" He almost yelled, waving his arms up and around frantically, and diving in for a hug. "Thank goodness you’re here," he said, pulling back and placing his hands on Brian's shoulders. "Please, oh please, do something about your bloody wife."

"Oi!" Roger squealed from inside the furniture. "I heard that, dick face!"

Freddie frowned, and John couldn't hold back a smile as Brian looked from one to the other. "What on earth is going on?" He asked.

Freddie sighed heavily, rubbing a thumb along his temple. But it was John that gave him the answer he'd been looking for, as he walked on over and rubbed a hand along Freddie's back to keep him calm.

"Roger locked himself in the cupboard," he began, Brian rolling his eyes at the fact that he'd gone and locked himself in. "He really wants his song to be on the B side of Bohemian Rhapsody."

Brian’s brows furrowed, as he watched Freddie and John closely to see if they held any signs of looking like they were joking, but by the way the oldest was about ready to throw a fit and the youngest rubbing soothing circles on his back, he'd say it was far from being untrue.

"You're kidding me?" Brian let out in disbelief.

John and Freddie nodded. Brian couldn't help but laugh again, and he'd thought Roger couldn't do anything dafter than that time he threw a coffee cup at him when he'd forgotten to get Roger his jammy Dodgers at the shop.

"I want it on that damn single!" Roger yelled. "It's not fair!"

Brian took a deep breath and shared a look with his friends, silently saying 'wish me luck', before he made his way to the wooden wardrobe.

"Roger, sweetheart," he began, hearing his other half hum in response. "Don't you think the best thing to do about this is talk it through, I'm sure there's a way we can settle this without you locking yourself in there."

"No!" Roger all but shouted. "Freddie said he won't do it and that's final, so I'm not leaving until he takes it back and puts my song on the single!"

Brian sighed and raised his brows at Freddie, who shrugged as if he had no idea what the blonde was talking about. "I'm sure we can work something out."

"I am NOT leaving this cupboard until my song is on that single and that's that!"

Brian rolled his eyes at his boyfriend’s childish behavior, and walked on back to his two friends, who looked ready to get up and go for a coffee. Freddie sure didn't look like he was giving in to Rogers demands, but Brian tried anyway.

"Freddie, maybe we can-,"

"No." Freddie cut in, crossing his arms over his chest. "I am not putting that song on the single, no way, no how."

"We haven't exactly discussed anything yet," Brian offered. "There’s not many choices of songs we could use, maybe if-,"

“No!" Freddie hissed, standing his ground. "Brian dear, have you read the bloody lyrics to that song? I mean, even the title, I’m in love with my car?"

"They are pretty strange," John commented with a slight smile. "Roger could at least take the car out for dinner first."

Freddie grinned. "I'm starting to think he's cheating on you with his car, Brian."

Brian rolled his eyes once more, and they all jumped as a yell emitted from the cupboard. "I CAN STILL HEAR YOU!"

"Good!" Freddie shot back.

"Freddie." Brian warned, wondering what he'd done to deserve this. "Right, this is what we'll do."

"We're listening." John said, elbowing Freddie who didn't look happy.

Brian continued. "We think of a compromise," he began, cutting Freddie off as he was about to speak. "We think of a compromise, one that's fair for both you and Roger, if we put his song in the single then maybe next time-,"

"No." Freddie jumped in, putting his hands up in frustration. "Bohemian Rhapsody needs a complimentary song, something that will make the single stand out, make it outstanding! I will not put I'm in love with my bloody car on that single!"

And with that, Freddie yanked his coat off the chair and stormed out the door. Brian sighed as John gave him a sorry look, before their attention turned back to Freddie who suddenly popped his head around the door.

"Come along, John, darling," he said. "Let’s drive into town, I'm buying you an extravagant breakfast." And once again he was gone.

John patted Brian on the shoulder. "Will you be alright?"

Brian nodded. "Don't worry about Roger, I'll take care of him."

"Alright," John hummed, picking up his own coat. "Then I'll take care of Freddie. I'm sure I can get him to change his mind somehow."

Brian chuckled. "Flutter your eyelashes, that seems to work for you every other time."

"Oh, shut up." John laughed, before leaving to find his own boyfriend before he got impatient.

So Brian was left alone, sort of. He let out a heavy sigh and combed a hand through his curls, before quietly making his way back to the cupboard door, where no sound was to be heard. Brian leaned forward a little, trying to listen to see if he could make out if Roger was even still breathing inside. It was dead silent.

"Rog?" He said, giving the wood a slight knock. "What are you doing in there?"

There was the sound of shuffling. "Roger’s not here."

Brian snorted. "There's strange, you sound an awful lot like him."

"Must be your imagination making you hear his amazing voice all the time."

Brian chuckled, leaning against the hard wood. "Rog, Freddie and John have gone now, you can come out."

"No." Roger huffed. "I'm not leaving until Freddie changes his mind."

Brian rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time that morning. "They're not going to know you came out."

"So," Roger grumbled, and by the sounds of it he was moving himself around as one thump after the other sounded from inside. "I'm trying to prove a point here, Brian!"

"And what point is that?"

"That Freddie can't always get his way!"

"Neither can you, honey." Brian said. "I think there's more to it than that, isn't there?"

He heard Roger give a big sigh. "My songs never get taken seriously!"

"Really?" Brian mumbled, rubbing his thumb in circles across his temple. "Roger, you've had more than one song put on our albums, you're a great song writer, it's just..."

"It's just that you hate my songs."

"Oh, for heaven's sake." Brian mumbled, wanting to whack his head against the cupboard. "Roger, you're in love with my car is a good song, it's just that the lyrics are a bit... Different."

Roger snorted. "Crap you mean."

Brian did thump his head against the cupboard this time, and decided he was getting nowhere. "Roger, are you going to come out or not?"

"No!" Roger squealed. "I'm staying until my song gets taken seriously!"

"Fine." Brian said, standing up straight and picking up his bag. "I'll leave you to it then, I've got to go practice some songs."

There was no response from the cupboard. So Brian made his way out, taking one quick look back to see if Roger was peeking his head out of the wardrobe, and seeing that he wasn't he left. He had a feeling Roger would give up this ridiculous scheme before long anyway.

Oh, how wrong he was.

It had been over an hour. Over an hour since he'd gone into the barn substituted as a break room and found his other half pouting inside a cupboard, and since then he'd been left to go through some songs by himself in the recording room, spying through the door once in a while to check if Roger had made a move to go to the toilet or even given in. But no, turns out Roger really was going to stay in that damn cupboard until Freddie changed his mind.

So just after ten Brian made his way back to the break room, and slowly opening the door he popped his head inside. No sign of Roger, and no sign that he'd even left the cupboard. The guitarist went inside quietly, and shut the door behind him, creeping over to the piece of furniture. Before he could give the door a knock, Rogers voice came from inside.

"You're terrible at being sneaky, Brian."

Brian huffed, "Maybe you're just too observant."

There came a quiet laugh from inside, which had Brian smiling. "Well, I am a little bored in here."

"Don't you need the toilet or anything?" Brian asked. "You've been in there for ages, Rog."

"I'm holding it in."

Brian scoffed in disbelief. "God, Roger, you've got to be kidding me.”

"I wasn't kidding Bri, I ain't leaving."

"Roger," he said in all seriousness. "This is silly and you know it, you have to take a toilet break! Have you even eating anything this morning?"

"No," the blonde mumbled. "I forgot."

Brian ran a hand through his hair, and started pacing. This man was going to be the death of him. "You've got to eat, Rog. You can't stay in there, for crying out loud, this is the stupidest and most ridiculous thing you've ever done!"

He knew he'd said the wrong thing as soon as it had left his lips. And he braced himself.

"WHAT?" Roger practically screeched, making Brian cringe. "Are you calling me stupid?!"

Brian sighed heavily. "No, Roger, I'm not calling you-"

"Yes you bloody are!" Roger yelled from behind the wood. Brian couldn't help but smile a little at how ridiculous the whole thing was. "You basically called me stupid and ridiculous!"

"I called the situation stupid and ridiculous." Brian corrected him.

"Same thing!"

"No, it's not." Brian said calmly, hearing a thud against the cupboard door. "So, I take it you're not coming out then?"

There was no response, so Brian took that as a no. And with another sigh he made his way out the room again, heading for the main kitchen.

"Have it your way then," he said as he opened the door. "I’m going to go practice some more."

Ten minutes later Brian snuck his way back inside the room without saying a word, and carefully he placed a plate of cheese sandwiches on the coffee table that he dragged nearer to the cupboard. Giving a slight tap on the cupboard, he hastily made his way out and peeked through the tiny gap in the door. A smile crept onto his face as he saw Roger swing the door open to the cupboard, and reaching over to the table he took the food and quickly locked the door back into place. Brian felt a tad better that Roger at least had some grub.

But his improved mood wouldn’t last that long. Just over an hour later, whilst Brian was strumming through the rifts to Bohemian Rhapsody and after spying on Roger every ten minutes to check he was still alive in that damn cupboard, there came a loud smashing sound from the barn. He scrambled to get up and almost dropped his guitar as he tried to rest it against the wall, before practically sprinting out the door to the break room downstairs.

When he got to the room, he almost went crashing right into Paul who stopped dead at the sight of him. His face was red with anger, and he looked like he was about to explode any second, it took a lot of Brian’s self-control not to laugh in the Irishman’s face.

“Your… your boyfriend,” Paul spat, “almost killed me!”

Brian had a good come back for that one, but instead: “Oh really? How so?” he asked, glancing towards the cupboard for a second, to see no sign of said boyfriend.

Paul growled. “He threw a fucking plate at me!”

“You deserve it you twat!” Came Roger’s voice from inside the cupboard.

Brian couldn’t contain the smile that made its way onto his lips, Paul just growled some more, directing his yelling at the blonde. “You’re crazy!” he bellowed, before turning back to Brian who quickly rubbed the smile off his face. “All I did was ask him where Freddie was!”

“Far away from you, fuckface!”

“Roger.” Brian warned, but secretly agreeing with Roger’s every word. “Sorry, Paul, he’s having a rough day.”

“Rough day?” Paul snorted, rubbing a hand across his hair. “He needs to grow up! Why the hell is he even in a cupboard?”

“Just fuck off!” Roger practically shrieked through the door. “Nobody likes you, wanker!”

Paul scowled towards the cupboard one last time, before storming out of the room, not caring that he bumped pretty hard into Brian on his way out. The guitarist rolled his eyes at the man, walking towards Roger’s temporary home in the furniture, and only now noticing the small bits of white china scattered all over the floor.

“You threw a plate at him, huh?” he asked, sitting on the coffee table.

“I didn’t like his tone.” Roger mumbled.

Brian chuckled, shaking his head. “I’ve got to say, Rog, this is the first time I applaud your throwing skills.”

He heard Roger laugh softly inside. “My skills aren’t that great, I bloody missed.”

“Too bad,” Brian grinned. “John would have bought you jammy dodgers for a whole year if you hadn’t.”

“Damn,” Roger cursed. “Didn’t think of that.”

Brian smiled to himself, imagining Roger curled up in a ball inside. “So, when are you thinking of coming out?”

“I already have,” Roger said as a matter of fact. “We’ve been going out for years, Bri.”

Brian scoffed, “Very funny.” He said, taping his foot against the bottom of the wardrobe. “You’ve been in there for hours, sweetheart, don’t you think it’s time to come out now?”

“Have you heard from Freddie?”

“No, him and John are still out in town.”

Roger snorted. “Well, until they return I’ll stay nice and cozy in here.”

Brian shook his head, but didn’t argue back, knowing he wasn’t going to get anywhere if he did. So, instead of going back to practice, he decided to make his way over to the sofa and lay down. “I guess I’ll keep you company until then.”

“Really?” Roger asked surprised. “Not going to huff and puff and leave me to perish inside this smelly, old cupboard?”

Brian grinned as he lay back on the comfy sofa, crossing his arms over his chest. “This sofa’s pretty cozy you know, Rog? Too bad you’re not here.”

“Fuck you.”

“Love you too.”

Five minutes later, a thump came from inside the closet.

“Bri?” Roger’s strained voice called, making Brian sit up on the sofa. “I really need to pee.”

 

*****  
  
Meanwhile, as Roger protested inside of a piece of furniture, John was trying his hardest to get Freddie to change his mind, he’d started off nicely with a discussion about cats for God knows how long, slowly slipping into opinions on their new album, and finally about Roger’s song.

“Darling, I’ve told you, I don’t want it on the single.” Freddie sighed, sitting back in his chair, and staring out the window as he took a drag from his cigarette. “It’s not appropriate.”

John smiled, as Freddie toyed with the napkin on the table. “Freddie, it’s not that bad of a song, I think it’s pretty good actually.”

Freddie quirked an eyebrow. “Liar.”

“It’s catchy,” John shrugged, taking a sip of his tea. “I agree the lyrics are a little…”

“Inconvenient.” Freddie added, sitting up straight and taking a hold of his own tea cup. “John, my lovely, I will admit it is a rather good tune, but those lyrics, it just doesn’t fit in with Bohemian Rhapsody.”

“Does it have to?” John asked with a shrug. “I mean, there’s nothing wrong with the two songs being completely different. All our songs are so dissimilar from each other, that’s what makes us Queen, Fred.”

Freddie gazed at John fondly then before dabbing his cigarette out in the ashtray, biting his bottom lip between his teeth, and the younger man knew he was getting through to the singer.

“Your song will be the main song,” he continued, slipping his hand into Freddie’s for good measure. “Bohemian Rhapsody will be a hit, it’s unique and fascinating, and everyone will be talking about it. Then we have Roger’s song that will compliment it by being completely different, something else for people to talk about. People will love it, and they’ll know its Queen just because of how unique the single is.”

Freddie sighed, subconsciously rubbing his thumb across the back of John’s hand. “You really think so?”

“I know so.” John said seriously, like Freddie had asked a silly question. “I’m pure genius, Freddie. I’m always right about these things.”

Freddie chuckled, clutching tighter in John’s hand. “I can always count on you to make things better, can’t I, my love?”

“You bet.” John grinned, as Freddie leaned across the table and they came together for a kiss.

*****  


Brian almost laughed as he heard Roger whine, sounding like a child whose candy was taken from him. The guitarist got up off the sofa, after only having a few minutes to rest, and went back to his previous spot outside the cupboard.

“I think it’s time you came out then, Rog.” Brian said. “Don’t think it’s a good idea to wee yourself.”

“I can’t!” Roger groaned. “That means I’ve lost!”

Brian put his head in his hands. “This isn’t a game.”

“Still,” Roger huffed, moving around and knocking himself against the side of the cupboard a bit too hard. “I told you, I want to prove a point. I’m serious about my song.”

“I know you are, Freddie and John know that too, but like I said, locking yourself in a cupboard isn’t going to help.”

There was silence for a while before Roger said, “What if I kidnap John and not let him go until Freddie puts my song on-,”

“Roger.” Brian cut in, “Why don’t you just do what anyone else would do and talk to us about it. I’m sure by now John has gotten through to Freddie, and we can all get this sorted in no time.” He said, and added in. “Besides, you left before me this morning, you owe me a good morning kiss.”

Roger snorted. “Sappy idiot.”

Brian chuckled, leaning against the cupboard and running his finger along the carved pattern. “So, what do you say? Come out here and we’ll wait for those two to get back? I’ll make you a nice, hot cup of hot chocolate.”

“What am I, five?”

Brian grinned, hearing the teasing in the blonde’s voice. “On a bad day, yes.”

“Piss off.” Roger piped, kicking the door. “Bri?”

“Yes, Rog?”

“I’m seriously about to piss myself.”

Brian laughed, shaking his head. “Suppose you don’t have a choice but to get out then, do you?”

Roger grunted, followed by the sound of a whack to the cupboard door, and a soft click from the lock inside. The door swung open and Brian had to lean to the side to take a look in, and he couldn’t help but laugh a little at the sight of Roger squished up against the back of the furniture, legs tucked under his arms.

“I really do need to pee.” The blonde mumbled.

Brian smiled, holding out his hand. “Need some help?”

Roger heaved a heavy sigh, and grabbing onto his boyfriend’s hand he was yanked out, tumbling not so gracefully and almost flying towards the sofa before Brian caught him in his arms.

The drummer groaned into Brian’s chest. “Now I _really_ need to pee.”

Brian chuckled, and had no time at all to answer as Roger practically sprinted out of the room like a cheetah. The guitarist shook his head with a smile, looking around the room, until his gaze settled on something sitting atop the counter. So Brian got to work.

Just a few minutes later Roger returned. The blonde huffed as he stopped outside the door to the break room, seeing Brian plonked comfortably on the sofa with a very suspicious grin spread across his face. He stared at Brian with furrowed brows, trying to figure out exactly what the older man was up to. And it didn’t take long as his eyes scanned the room, and landed on the cupboard he’d been calling home for the last few hours. Which, very messily, the doors to it were tied shut by some ribbons.

“Brian!” Roger squeaked, stomping over to the piece of furniture. He pulled on the ribbons noticing that each one was tightly knotted. “What have you done?” he almost yelled at the other musician.

Brian just calmly stood up, and walked over to his partner. “I’ve stopped you from going back into that silly cupboard, and continuing to do something stupid.”

“You called me stupid again.” Roger glared, ready to put up a fight, before Brian put his hands up and cut him off.

“Rog, you and I both know locking yourself in that cupboard was the silliest idea you’ve ever had, and the only way to sort this out, like I’ve been trying to say the last few hours, would be to wait for the boys to get back and talk about it.” Brian said softly. “How many times do I have to repeat myself before you listen?”

Roger glared some more, crossing his arms over his chest, and looking like a child who was about to go into tantrum mode. “It’s not fair, Bri!” he growled, starting to pace around the room, and kicking things as he went. “All I want is for my damn song to be on the B side, I won’t ask for anything else ever again!”

“Sure you won’t, honey.” Brian sighed, just as Roger full on kicked the fridge.

“My song is fucking brilliant!” Roger shouted, seizing the nearest thing he could find and tossing it across the room. “Why isn’t it good enough, huh?”

Brian ended up having to dodge what was thrown, which turned out to be an orange. The guitarist had to practically dive to his right, the fruit missing him by inches.

“Roger!” Brian warned, as the blonde threw an apple at the door this time. “Stop! Don’t start this again!”

“Is that good enough?” Roger yelled, as he tossed another orange at his favorite cupboard. “How about this?” he said, as he threw a packet of teabags that burst open as it collided with the wall.

Brian didn’t give him another chance to throw the next item, which was a big mug, as he soared forward and took a hold of his wrist in one hand and his arm in the other. Knowing Roger he’d start throwing punches as well as objects.

“Roger,” Brian said coolly, guiding Roger’s arm down that held the mug, and slowly taking it from him to put back on the counter beside them. “Sweetheart, I think you need to take a breath, and come sit down, alright?”

Roger rolled his eyes and gave a huff. “Fine.”

So the drummer followed Brian to the sofa, and they both took a seat, Roger being not so graceful as he fell heavily onto the leather couch. Brian stayed quiet for a short time, watching Roger as he glared a hole into the other side of the small barn, knowing the blonde probably wanted to yell at the top of his voice and do a lot of damage to certain things in the room. The guitarist also knew he needed to let him calm down first, so he kept his mouth shut.

Once he’d notice Roger’s shoulder’s slump and face relax, he gently took the blonde’s hand in his, rubbing his thumb softly across the back of his hand. He knew Roger loved it when he held his hand, and it always had a good effect on his mood. Which seemed to be true for that moment, as Roger let out a deep sigh, and looked at Brian, a slight smile creeping onto his face.

“Sorry.” The drummer said sincerely. “Sorry for getting mad and almost knocking you out with fruit.”

Brian chuckled, grinning widely at his boyfriend, before leaning over and kissing him on the forehead. “It’s alright, sweetheart. I understand why you’re angry, but maybe next time try throwing something a little less deadly, alright?”

Roger laughed with him, shaking his head. “God, I don’t know why you’re still with me, Bri.”

“That’s easy,” Brian smiled, pulling Roger closer and letting his hand go to wrap his arm around him. “It’s because I love you.” He stated. “And I secretly find you adorable when you lock yourself in cupboards, and throw objects across the room in anger.”

“Oh, fuck off.” Roger snorted and gave the older man a swat to the arm.

Brian just laughed, tugging the blonde closer if possible, and with a free hand he tucked his fingers under Roger’s chin to turn his head to face him. “I still haven’t had my morning kiss you know, and it’s already the afternoon.”

Roger rolled his eyes playfully, but smirked when Brian leaned in for a kiss. Their lips met and Roger instantly forgot about why he was in such a foul mood, so absorbed in the feeling of Brian’s lips on his, and his hands digging into his back to pull him nearer. His hands crept into Brian’s curls, as he tilted his head, deepening the kiss and letting out a quiet moan as he felt the guitarist bite down gently on his bottom lip. When Brian had said a good morning kiss, this isn’t what he had in mind, but he weren’t complaining in the least.

“Ahem.”

The couple broke apart like they’d been burnt, dazed and confused as they looked towards the barn doors where John and Freddie stood, the bassist holding back a laugh as the singer smirked at the pair.

“Boys, as much as I love seeing the two of you being all lovey-dovey, could you at least do it where there’s no risk of traumatizing poor John.” Freddie said with a wink, taking a hold of John’s hand and leading him to the pouffe in the corner to sit. “Youngsters these days.” He tutted, practically yanking John down to sit on his lap.

 Brian and Roger sat back, running their hands across their clothing to get rid of the creases, and combing their hands through their hair to make them look less like they’d been electrocuted. Brian coughed into his hand, feeling his cheeks cool down from the slight embarrassment of being caught by his friends.

“So, uh,” he began, quickly changing the subject. “How was breakfast?”

“Delicious.” John hummed, leaning back against Freddie’s chest. “I’m stuffed!”

“Well, you’re too skinny, darling, you needed it.” Freddie added with a wave of his hand. He noticed Roger shuffle awkwardly in his seat, avoiding all eye contact with any of them. Brian must have noticed too, as he took Roger’s hand in his and sent him a small smile. “We went for a lovely walk too,” Freddie continued. “You should have seen the flowers just outside of town, they were beautiful, we bumped into a lovely old lady with this strange looking dog that John wanted to take home, she owns cats too you know, she told me all their names, one was called Binky, another was Lenny, and-,”

“Okay, Freddie,” John cut him off, patting his hand that was around his waist. “I think you’ve stalled long enough.”

Freddie poked him in his side, and sighed. “You’re supposed to be on my side, my love.”

John just grinned, gesturing to his other half to tell Brian and Roger what they’d discussed back at the cafe. Freddie just sighed dramatically once more, and gave it to them straight.

“I’m in love with my car can go on the B side.”

Roger’s head whipped up so fast he felt like he had whiplash, and Brian looked hilarious staring at Freddie with wide eyes and jaw dropped open. Hours ago there was a big blowup over putting the song onto the single, and Freddie was adamant that it was not happening, and if Brian was being honest, he actually didn’t think it would be very easy to get Freddie to agree to it, no matter how much he told Roger the singer would give in soon.

But apparently, John Deacon was an expert negotiator.

“Wait,” Brian started, looking from one musician to the other. “Just like that? I’ll admit I thought we could talk this out and make something work, but I didn’t think you’d agree so easily, Fred.”

“Yeah,” Roger let out a short laugh. “What did you do John, wave a magic wand?”

John smiled down at Freddie who was rolling his eyes, before the singer said, “Let’s just say Deacy has a way with words.”

Roger snorted. “I’m sure those words involved a lot of hand gestures.”

“Rog.” Brian whacked his knee.

“We just talked for a while, that’s all.” John said. “Like I told Fred, your song would go well with his.”

“You think so?” Roger questioned suspiciously. “You both hated it this morning.”

“We don’t hate it, Roger dear.” Freddie stepped in, trying to think of what to say next without starting another argument. “We just think it’s a little…”

“Unusual,” John answered for him. “Lyrics wise.”

Roger frowned. “Yes, alright, you made that clear earlier.”

“Our point is,” John carried on, looking to Freddie for back up. “We think it compliments Bohemian Rhapsody quite well. Doesn’t it, Freddie?”

Freddie could practically feel the bassist’s eyes boring into him as he responded, “Yes, it does.” He said, sighing dramatically. “And as my dear Deacy here also said, Queen is all about experimenting and bringing out the weird in music.”

Brian nodded in agreement, “You’re right, we are very weird.” He said, chuckling as Roger scoffed beside him. “So, we can carry on recording then? The single is sorted just like that?”

Freddie hummed, inspecting his nails on his free hand rather closely as he said, “On one condition.”

Roger puffed as his head fell back against the sofa, of course there was a condition. Brian and John just looked at the singer questionably, especially John, since he didn’t remember ever talking to Freddie about there being circumstances to their deal.

So Freddie continued, “No more songs about falling in love with ones car.”

Everyone laughed at Freddie’s unforeseen condition, including Roger, who couldn’t help the smile that grew on his lips. Brian grinned at him and gave his hand a tight squeeze, more than relieved that the silliest argument they’d ever had was over.

“Sounds like a fair deal, Fred.” Roger grinned at the older man, who sent him a wink in return. And just like that everything was back to normal.

“Let’s go record,” Freddie almost shouted from the chair. “Chop chop, my dears.”

John jumped out of Freddie’s lap and stood tall, suddenly having an idea. “Maybe Rog can write about something else… like Brian’s hair?” he grinned mischievously.

Brian rolled his eyes. “I’d rather he didn’t.”

“Hey,” Roger pouted. “I’d write an amazing song about your hair, could call it the poodle doo.”

“Please don’t,” Brian chuckled, standing too and helping Roger get up. “I think we stay away from songs about my hair, and any other parts of our bodies.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that, darling,” Freddie grinned, giving John’s behind a slight tap on his way to the barn door. “I could write a whole novel about Deacy’s arse.”

“Freddie!” John squeaked, feeling his cheeks redden in embarrassment.

The band laughed as they made their way out, heading towards another part of the farm, where they’d continue recording for the rest of the day, peacefully Brian hoped. Just as John shut the door behind them, his eyes caught sight of broken china nearby, a few teabags dotted here and there, and some fruit that definitely should not be sitting around on the floor. He shook his head with a smile, he wasn’t even going to ask.

**Author's Note:**

> *starts to regret having Roger miss hitting Paul with the plate*


End file.
